Marine biologists are left scratching their heads after a group of San Diego-based animal rights activists started a campaign to turn the city’s local shark population vegan.
The ‘Sharks for Tofu’ initiative began shortly after a group of La Jolla beachgoers witnessed a dramatic spectacle of nature: a shark hunting a sea lion. Despite marine biologists explaining that this is, in fact, standard behavior for sharks, the event sent shockwaves through the community,
“No creature should have to suffer for another’s dinner,” said Marina ‘Kelp Hugger’ Greenpeace, leader of the campaign. “If we can become vegans, so can sharks! They have teeth; they can chew tofu!”
Scientists are bewildered by the demand, with leading marine biologist, Dr. Fin McSharkerson, stating, “While I respect the sentiment, it’s ecologically absurd to impose human dietary habits on wild apex predators.”
Nevertheless, the ‘Sharks for Tofu’ campaigners remain undeterred. “We’ve already started dropping ‘Beyond Sealion’, large, plant-based fish substitutes, into the ocean. The sharks will adapt. Love is the answer!” exclaimed Greenpeace, unaware that seagulls had quickly claimed her tofu-fish.
Meanwhile, local sea lions are reportedly delighted by the campaign, citing that “this would be a total game-changer for us.” The local seagull population has also shown enthusiastic support, mainly due to the sudden abundance of free tofu.
