LA JOLLA, CA – In an unprecedented move, the sea lion community in La Jolla held a historic vote last Tuesday to erect a formidable wall around their coastal haven. The aim? To keep the pesky humans at bay. With their distinct barking cheers, the whiskered assembly wearing “Make La Jolla Great Again” hats sent a clear message to the two-legged trespassers as they splashed in unanimous agreement.
“Humans have been continuously disturbing our sunbathing sessions with their noisy Bluetooth speakers and selfie-taking. It’s time to draw a line in the sand. These humans can’t even bark our language, send them back to where they came from!!” barked Salty as he balanced a blueprint of the wall on his nose. The blueprint outlines a grandiose structure, standing at 20 feet tall and extending around the entire perimeter of La Jolla’s beach areas.
The wall project, dubbed “The Great Barrier”, proposes an ambitious construction timeline, aiming for completion by the next full moon.
San Diego’s human residents have met the news with mixed reactions, to say the least. Local fisherman, Rod Reeler, expressed his concerns. “How will I access the best fishing spots? And how the heck do sea lions even vote?”
Environmentalists, on the other hand, have taken a shine to the idea. Nature enthusiast, Sandy Shores, voiced her support: “This is a unique opportunity for the sea lions to reclaim their native habitats, undisturbed by human intervention.”
City officials are yet to respond to the sea lions’ audacious plan. Insiders reveal that a committee is being formed to establish a line of communication with the Sea Lion Council to discuss the logistics surrounding “The Great Barrier.” San Diegans are holding their breath, waiting to see if this marine-made wall will come to fruition or if it’s just another fish tale.
