The I-5 Freeway—where time, space, and traffic laws are mere suggestions. If you’ve driven this legendary stretch of pavement that stitches together San Diego, Los Angeles, and all the chaos in between, you know there are certain unspoken rules that every driver seems to know… but absolutely nobody follows.
Table of Contents
The Left Lane Is for Speeding (Except When It’s Not)
It’s the fast lane, but that doesn’t stop someone in a Prius from setting the cruise control to 57 mph while a parade of angry commuters builds behind them. Passing on the right is the only viable option at this point.
You Must Go 90 MPH or 9 MPH—Nothing in Between
There’s no middle ground. It’s either Formula 1 speeds or a crawling parking lot. The transition happens without warning and usually right after you take a sip of coffee.
Turn Signals Are Optional (But Mind Reading Is Mandatory)
Why use a blinker when you can just suddenly swerve into another lane and hope for the best? Bonus points if you wait until the last possible second to cut across four lanes for your exit.
If You’re in a Traffic Jam, Blame Camp Pendleton
It doesn’t matter where you are on the 5, someone will always say, “It’s probably Camp Pendleton traffic.” Are they right? Maybe. Does anyone actually know? Not really.
The Merge at La Jolla Is Survival of the Fittest
Merging onto the 5 South from La Jolla during rush hour is like trying to zipper merge with wild animals—nobody wants to let you in, and yet everyone is trying to merge at the same time. It’s comes out of nowhere but you can drift your way in the ramp like Fast and Furious.
The 805 Split Will Always Betray You
Every San Diegan has been burned by the 805/5 split at least once. Try merging 8 lanes to get on the highway you need without an accident… it’s a skill.
There’s a 100% Chance of a CHP Hiding Somewhere
California Highway Patrol is always lurking—usually right after a blind curve, just waiting for someone to go 1 mph over the limit so they can have a nice little chat.
The Carpool Lane Is a Free-for-All
It’s supposed to be for carpoolers, but tell that to the lone wolf in a Tesla who just blew past you at 95 mph because apparently being rich counts as two people.
Northbound on a Friday? You’re Stuck Forever
Anyone driving north on the 5 on a Friday afternoon should pack a survival kit. You’ll be trapped behind a sea of LA-bound cars, all filled with people who apparently just discovered how to brake for the first time.
Mission Bay to Downtown? That’s at Least 17 Waze Routes
You could take the 5, the 8, the 163, surface streets, or just wing it—either way, Waze will reroute you 12 times and still say you’re late.
If You See a Mattress on the Road, No You Didn’t
It’s an unwritten rule that the 5 always has at least one stray mattress on it at all times. If you see it, swerve accordingly and don’t ask questions.
If You Go South Too Far… Adios Amigos!
Miss your exit in San Ysidro, and congratulations—you’re now on a one-way trip to Tijuana with no turning back. Hope you brought your passport, because U-turns aren’t really a thing at the border.
Your Exit Will Sneak Up on You at the Worst Possible Time
You had 15 miles to prepare, but somehow, your exit is suddenly right there, and now you have 0.5 seconds to cross four lanes of traffic before you miss it.
If You Don’t See a Car Fire, Wait Five Minutes
There’s always some car engulfed in flames on the side of the 5, and nobody is surprised. We’re just grateful it’s not ours.
The Real Unwritten Rule: Nobody Actually Knows How to Drive Here
At the end of the day, the only true rule of driving on the 5 is that nobody knows what they’re doing, but we all pretend we do. And most of the time it’s just Zonies visiting San Diego that get in our way.
The On-Ramp Meter Lights Are Just Drag Race Starters
You could wait patiently for your turn when the ramp meter light turns green… but let’s be real. The second that light flickers, it’s Fast & Furious: I-5 Drift as you floor it and pray your 2009 Corolla has one last burst of life left in it.
(Bonus points if you ignore the “2 cars per green” rule entirely and just go when the car in front of you moves.)
