San Diego landlords woke up this week to the horrifying news that rents have, for the first time in 15 years, dropped by a devastating 0.2%. The psychological and economic fallout was swift: dozens have launched GoFundMe campaigns to help them cope with the traumatic $5 per month decrease.
“We need thoughts, prayers, and cash,” said Pacific Beach landlord Chad on his campaign page, gently sobbing into his iced vanilla latte. “I had to downgrade my Tesla software package. My golden doodle and I are barely hanging on.”
Landlord support groups have been popping up across the region. At one recent gathering in La Jolla, attendees participated in healing exercises such as guided rent inflation visualization and communal sighing about the trauma of only being able to raise rent by 9% yearly instead of 10%.
“How am I supposed to survive if my tenants can now afford avocados AND toast?” wailed Mission Valley apartment magnate Linda Rentsworth. “Next thing you know, they’ll want sunlight and running water included.”
Analysts expect further calamity as some landlords consider extreme measures like offering in-unit laundry, waiving the application fee, or, in desperate instances, meeting their tenants for the first time.
Meanwhile, local tenants’ associations are considering offering group hugs and lavender essential oils to landlords suffering from what experts are now calling Post Rent-Decrease Stress Disorder (PRDSD). City officials recommend landlords breathe deeply and remember: the rent may drop, but property values still basically print money.
