Hasbro is bringing board games into the brutal reality of the California housing market with their latest release, Monopoly: California Dreamin’ Edition. Gone are the days of collecting $200 for passing Go; now each player starts with a $1 million adjustable-rate mortgage and crippling student debt—just to keep things authentic.
Instead of buying Baltic Avenue with a fistful of pastel bills, players must now gather with their parents and four other housemates before they can even afford a railroad. Each property deed now features Zillow screenshots, price histories, and a QR code to a linktree of GoFundMe campaigns.
The classic Chance cards have been updated too. One says, “Bank error in your favor. Just kidding, it’s a typo. Pay $5,000 for reappraisal fees.” Community Chest now triggers a $200,000 bidding war with cash buyers who arrive on Segways yelling, “All cash, no contingencies!”
Of course, upgrades are modern: Instead of hotels, players slap up ADUs in their backyards, or just park their van across all four utilities. Pass Go? Excellent—just enough to cover property taxes for another month. But beware: land on Luxury Tax and you’re forced to submit ten years of tax returns and a heartfelt personal letter to the seller explaining why you deserve their stucco palace.
Hasbro assures nervous parents this game is educational, preparing children for California’s real world—where buying Boardwalk is a group project, and the only way to win is inheriting from Grandma.
